You could consider signing a prenuptial agreement. If you have been together for four years and have children, any agreement you sign should recognize those facts so that your entitlement to military retirement would include the credit for the years you have been together. You should be entitled to one half of the military retirement benefits he has accumulated during the time you have been together. In Utah, you may also have the right to ask the court to recognize your relationship as a common law marriage. This needs to be done before either or you dies, and within 1 year of the termination of the relationship. By doing this, you can protect yourself against receiving much less if you separate without formalizing your relationship, or if the relationship ends with the death of either of you.
Answer Applies to: Utah
He needn't worry. In the event of a divorce, he would retain the portion of his retirement that accumulated prior to the marriage. You would be entitled only to half of what occurs during the marriage. Here is really no need for a prenup to address the divorce scenario.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
Two kids. Together four years. And you believe he won't marry you because he is worried about losing some retirement. Unless he is a complete idiot, I suspect he has another reason! In any event, a prenup is of limited worth in protecting his assets in the event of a divorce. Besides, if he is enlisted at 11 years in, he's probably only a Tech or Master Sergeant and could not have possibly amassed an estate worth being that concerned about. Even as an officer say around the rank of Major he would not be much better off. All things being equal, come divorce time, if you have a decent lawyer, you are going to get what's fair and perhaps a fraction more prenup or no. So get a prenup drafted, stick it in his face and tell him to marry you now - my money is on that he will come up with a new excuse.
Answer Applies to: North Carolina
No one besides you can answer that question. If you continue to live together, you do not receive any of his property. If you want to be married, then the two of you will have to discuss yours, mine and ours.
Answer Applies to: Nevada
You need to have an attorney review any prenup. You do not want to waive your portion of the retirement that will be earned during the marriage. I would question his motives if he is so worried about the retirement before marriage.
Answer Applies to: Colorado
Your call. You are most probably better off married with a pre-nup than in in your current status.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
In Oklahoma if you are married during the service members military service you are entitled to of the marital portion of the pension. It is up to you whether you decide to sign away that right in a prenup. I advise you to talk personally to an attorney first, especially since you have been living together for four years and already have children together. If you move around the world with him, losing out on job opportunities yourself, because of his military service, you are entitled to share in the benefit of the retirement in case of divorce. You may also qualify as common law married in Oklahoma.
Answer Applies to: Oklahoma
The question is "How important is it to you to get married?" If you are willing to give up a claim to his Air Force retirement, then the prenup should not be an issue for you. Is there anything you can negotiate with, such as your 401K?
Answer Applies to: California
Are you working and do you have your own personal retirement account, either with your employer or on your own? Do you own half the house? Do you have the ability to care for yourself if he divorces you? Do you have anything you don't want him to have? There are a lot of questions and you need to sit down with an attorney and go over them all.
Answer Applies to: Idaho
Giving away your rights to his pension after all this time together is not in your best interest which is what a pre-nuptial agreement would do. Is that what you want? You would only get the faction of his pension that represents the time that you are married, for example if you are married for 8 years but he has been in the service for 20 then you would get one half of 8/20ths - which is 4/10ths of his time in the service and you would get one half of that amount in a dissolution. You can waive your right to his pension, but that seems to me his goal.
Answer Applies to: Iowa